


No Homo

by fan_domain



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Highschool AU, Humanstuck, M/M, No Homo, davejohn - Freeform, davekat - Freeform, rosemary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 23:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4644441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fan_domain/pseuds/fan_domain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rather long drabble about a bro just helping another bro out, that's absolutely it, no homo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Homo

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to Cade because she really wanted me to finish it please love me Cade.
> 
> (( disclaimer: I do not own any characters mentioned in this story, I only created the plot they are put in))

Dave and John had been friends for a rather long time. They’d shared plenty of lame bro moments together, and John felt like he could tell Dave anything. Which is why, on this raining Friday night, they were laying on Dave’s bed and chatting casually on the topic of girls and guys. 

“You know,” John said, “I’ve never understood what the big hype is about kissing someone. I mean, maybe it’s just cause I’ve never kissed anyone, you know? But I’ve been thinking a lot about Rose lately, even though she seems pretty caught up in Kanaya, though I doubt she’d admit it out loud, but I was thinking that if we got together or something, well I mean what’s really the point of kissing? Just smushing your mouths together with passion? Seems kind of dumb to me.”

Dave pushed up his shades and turned his head to look at John. “Dude,” he said, “Kissing is the best.”

“That’s what I keep hearing! Kissing and sex are supposedly the best things ever but what about just sitting together or cuddling, whatever happened to holding hands?” John exclaimed.

“Yeah, yeah.” Dave rolled his eyes. “That’s great and all but you wanna get some fucking action in there. Kissing is pretty great, man. You should try it before you diss it.”

“Maybe,” John said, turning to face Dave. “Do you think I’m just scared? Since I’ve never kissed anyone? Girls are pretty intimidating sometimes, and I don’t know how to kiss. What if I do it wrong?”

“Man, if that’s all you’re worried about then we can solve that, I can teach you,” Dave waved, as if this was the most obvious answer to the problem at hand. 

“Dave!” John exclaimed. He sat up suddenly and shook his head. “I’m really flattered by the offer but I’m not gay. Anyways, I think Karkat was-”

“No, no you got it all wrong, dude,” Dave scoffed, “I meant like, no homo, man. Just one bro teaching another how to kiss girls. Totally no homo.”

John thought for a second. He was not gay. Dave was a nice guy, his best friend, and it’s not that he was unattractive, he just didn’t feel that way. But if Dave didn’t mean anything, that would be okay, right?

“Okay…” John mumbled. “I mean, as long as it’s no homo, right?”

“Dude, of course. One hundred percent no homo.”

“Okay, let’s do this then,” John said, sucking in a full breath of air and puckering his lips toward Dave’s. He could feel his face getting red, whether that was from the absolute embarrassment or the lack of oxygen flowing through his body, he did not know. Once Dave started laughing, he figured it was probably more embarrassment. 

“What?” John asked, opening his tightly closed eyes. “Did I do it wrong?”

Once his laugher subsided, Dave turned back to John. “Dude, you don’t have to pucker so much, you look like you just ate some sour ass shit. You just kind of have to move with the other person, which means you have to lean in when they do, you can’t just wait for them.”

John looked at the floor. “Oh.”

Dave shook his head, trying not to laugh. “Here, let me show you.”

Slowly, Dave leaned in to John. He cupped his face softly and, though John wouldn’t have been able to tell through his shades, he closed his eyes. After a few seconds of silence, he chuckled and said, “This is when you start the kiss, idiot.”

Before John could pull away, embarrassed, Dave leaned in and brushed their lips together, making sure John was actually okay with it. He felt the pulse quicken in the brunet’s neck. 

“Dave, I…”

“Remember, it’s just friendly, no homo.”

“Right, o-okay.”

Dave leaned forward into John again, closing his eyes and pressing their lips together harder. He leaned his head to one side, and John leaned to the opposite. Dave placed his second hand on John’s waist, pulling the shorter boy closer to him. He began to move him mouth against John’s, slowly at first, waiting for John to catch up. Gradually, John started to move with him, leaning in slightly himself. Dave pulled away for air, glancing at John’s low-lidded eyes. 

“How… how am I doing? Is this right?” John asked, nervously. Despite what he had expected, kissing Dave was fairly nice. He was sure that kissing girls would be better, but this was the first person he… did that make Dave his first kiss?

“You’re doing great, actually. Are you still okay with this?” Dave cautiously asked. 

“Oh, of course, no homo right? Let’s, uh, get back to that,” John mumbled. 

Dave smiled slightly and leaned back in, resisting laughing at John’s pink face and still overly puckered lips. This time, it was John who started the kiss. He shoved his lips into Dave’s, taking the blond by surprise and almost knocking him over. John gently coiled his fingers into Dave’s hair. 

“He’s coming on pretty strong, suddenly,” Dave thought to himself. Either John had caught on pretty fast, or… was he trying to send a signal or something? Dave pulled away and studied John.

Dave cleared his throat. “Hey,” he said. “Since you’ve, uh, seem to have got this down, I thought you might want to know like how to get a different mood going, you know, for when you’re with a girl and you wanna get it going.”

John quirked his head to the side and thought. “Dave, I know you said no homo and all but what you just described sounds very homo. You really helped with kissing and all, I get why you like it so much. You’re, um...” John coughed and rubbed the nape of his neck. “You’re pretty good at it,” he mumbled.

“What was that now?” Dave asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Absolutely nothing, Strider. But anyways, I just don’t know how I feel about this. I mean I would like to know I guess…” John trailed off.

“It’ll be fine. Just a bro helping another bro learn how to get it on with a girl, no biggie man. It’s what friends do,” Dave shrugged.

John sighed and asked, “Could you at least take off your shades? It’s kind of awkward, I can’t tell if your eyes are open or where you’re looking.”

Dave stiffened slightly. He hated his eyes, but John had seen them before and didn’t seem to mind, and did it really matter right now? They were alone, no one else would see them. 

“Yeah, sure,” Dave shrugged. “You know how it is though, man. Don’t say anything.” He slowly took off his glasses and scooted over to place them on his bed table. Dave looked back at John, his red eyes staring into John’s blue ones. John smiled, he knew how Dave was about his shades, and it felt good knowing that Dave trusted him enough to know John wouldn’t judge him. 

“Thanks,” John chimed.

“Yeah, let’s just get on with it.”

Dave crawled back over to John, stopping when he was almost in the smaller boy’s lap. John turned lightly pink, his cheeks glowed warmly. Dave leaned down to John’s ear. “If you want to stop, tell me,” he murmured. John shivered lightly from the breath on his ear and nodded. Dave gently began kissing a trail along John’s jaw to his mouth. 

He gazed into John’s eyes as he planted a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. He pushed John back, making him onto the bed, a mixture of heterosexual panic and curiosity in his eyes. Dave slowly lowered himself onto John, placing his forearms on the bed for support. He leaned back down to John’s ear and whispered, “No homo.”

“Dave you’re killing the mood,” John whined, rolling his eyes.

“There’s a mood?” Dave asked. He laughed quietly as John blushed and turned his face away. Dave kissed the top of his exposed neck. John squirmed at the sensitive touch, but Dave held him in place. 

“John, shouldn’t do be doing most of this,” Dave asked. “I know I’m helping kinda teach you but don’t you want to be a bit more dominant?”

John bit his lip and mumbled, “I-I don’t know how.” He looked up at Dave, blue eyes locking with red. This was so new to him, and he was almost shocked that he didn’t mind doing this with Dave. It didn’t count as a ‘first kiss’ if he didn’t want it to, right? And Dave would understand if he just wanted to learn a bit more before he took charge…

“Could you, uh… could you show me? Like, how to do that?” John murmured. His cheeks flared up, practically lighting up the space between them. 

Dave didn’t know what to say, he had agreed to help John out but this seemed like he was trying for something else? He wasn’t against the idea completely but he wasn’t sure John actually wanted this. Would it be better to operate under the assumption this was all to help John with chicks?

Dave studied John’s face for a moment, almost wishing he had his shades back because he was sure John was reading him like a book. “If you’re sure that’s what you want, I did agree to help you. As long as it’s like, no homo, man.”

John rolled his eyes. “Dave, I’m not gay, c’mon just… can we uh, can you do what you were doing before?”

Dave shivered lightly when he saw John’s big eyes framed by blood rushed cheeks. He didn’t look bad, not at all, it made Dave wonder how he looked to John. 

Slowly and cautiously, Dave leaned back down to John’s neck and began sucking lightly. John fidgeted for a second, deciding what to do. The brunet leaned slightly into Dave, inhaling sharply when the blond’s mouth found his collar bone. “I-I’m,” John whispered, his voice shaky. “I’m pretty sensitive there.”

Dave laughed, the throaty noise increasing the feeling John had in the pit of his stomach that he’d been trying to ignore. “Dude,” Dave said, looking up at John. He figured, if John was down for this, he might as well make it worth it for the both of them. “You shouldn’t have said that.”

Dave laced a hand in John’s hair, and used the other to hold one of his hands above his head. John looked mildly panicked, until Dave started kissing a slow trail along his collarbone. He squeezed his eyes shut and curled his toes. John radiated warmth, both from pleasure and mild embarrassment. Dave nipped at the soft skin below his neck, and John moaned softly. 

John went rigid, and slowly looked down to meet Dave’s equal wide eyes. “I- uh,” Dave stuttered. John rolled over, squealing and covering his face. 

“Oh my god!” he exclaimed, his voice muffled by the mattress. “I didn’t- I mean I’m sorry that was weird I didn’t mean to-”

“Shh,” Dave laughed. “Hey, John, look it’s fine. I, um, do you want me to do it again?”

John slowly rolled back over and looked up at Dave. He felt along his own collarbone. “Would it be weird if I said yeah? Like, no homo?” John asked, biting his lip.

Dave leaned down to John’s ear. “I don’t think you need to say that anymore,” Dave breathed. He traced a path with his finger down the smaller boy’s neck to his collarbone making John shiver. 

“Dave,” John mumbled.

“Hm?” Dave murmured, lidded eyes look up to see John’s closed ones. 

John inhaled sharply, crossing his legs behind Dave. “Hurry up,” he whispered, half impatient and half pleading. 

Dave laughed and kissed along John’s neck until he reached his shirt collar. “Do you mind?” he asked, fingering the fabric at the bottom of the shirt. John shook his head quickly. 

“John. Are you sure this is okay? You don’t have to do this, with any girl or now, with me. This is… it’s just for learning remember?” Dave asked, raising an eyebrow. John really didn’t look okay, and as much as he personally was enjoying this new side of John, there’s no way he’d want to make him uncomfortable like this. 

“I’m fine, um, could I just try something?” John asked, opening his eyes slightly. 

“Of course,” Dave leaned back onto John’s lap and put his arms out. “My body is fucking ready bro go for it.” 

John leaned up until his face met Dave’s. He reached up and wound his fingers into Dave’s hair, and slowly leaned back in to kiss him. Dave wrapped his arms around John’s waist, and pulled them closer together. John kissed him a little rougher, and mumbled something that sounded like “shirt”. Dave reached down and took off his red shirt, and John put a hand on his stomach. Suddenly, he pulled away. 

“You’re really fit,” John awed. He looked down at his still clothed chest. “I think I’d rather keep my shirt on. It would be a disappointment for the both of us.” 

“Off with it,” Dave laughed, rolling his eyes. He pulled off John’s shirt and took a second to look him over. He was skinny and not very muscular, a stark contrast against the freckled and scarred torso of the boy in front of him. Dave leaned down and kissed John’s cheek. “Girls like confidence,” he whispered into John’s ear. 

“Right now,” John said shakily, “I don’t really care what girls like.” He leaned back into a stunned Dave, kissing him hard and almost knocking him over. He trailed his hands down Dave’s chest. Dave moved his mouth down to John’s collarbone, biting at the spots that would give him a rewarding sound. John groaned, leaning down slightly so his mouth was closer to Dave’s ear. He breathed heavy, his arms felt light and numb and tingly from adrenaline. He moaned, and Dave shivered. 

“Damn, John,” Dave murmured, kissing lightly up the brunet’s neck and sucking along his jawline. Dave moved over, picking John up and sitting him on his lap. John wrapped his legs around Dave’s waist and coiled his fingers into his hair, pulling on it and he arched his back against the lips on his neck. Dave moaned loudly.

“Don’t,” Dave breathed, “Don’t pull my hair. Jesus Christ, John, I’m gonna wake the fucking neighbors.”

John laughed. “You shouldn’t have said that,” he winked.

He pulled at the blond’s hair, his stomach twisting at every golden and slightly annoyed noise that escaped the lips on his neck. Dave scratched lightly at John’s back, biting his collarbone. The brunet shuddered and groaned. Dave let a hand trace down John’s chest, down to his waistband. He pulled gingerly on the button of the boy’s pants, asking for permission. John leaned back and looked at Dave’s eyes. 

“Dave,” he whispered. “I don’t think I want that yet. I mean, I do, with you, and it’s not that I don’t trust you, but not right now. Tonight… it’s been a lot.”

“That’s absolutely fine, man. So, um, did you… uh, did you learn enough?” Dave asked, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah, I’m still not gay though man,” John shrugged. 

Dave stared at him. “Fucking what? You are extremely gay we just made out for like an hour!” he screeched.

“I didn’t say,” John laughed, “that meant I was straight.” He winked and scooted off of Dave and onto the bed.

“What?” Dave exclaimed. John hopped off the bed and walked over to his bag. 

“I still think cuddling is better than sex, but kissing is okay. You want to watch a movie?” he asked, looking back over at the bed. 

Dave rolled his eyes and reached over for his shades. “We are not watching Little Monsters,” he said.

**Author's Note:**

> I really only ship PepsiCola platonically but this was pretty fun to write, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Feedback is always appreciated.


End file.
